are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
