"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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