ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
