Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
