You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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