no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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