Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize