I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
