I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
