i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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