I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
