Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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