He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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