Having a random hookup so left but love u
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
