OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
