I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
