I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
