...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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