So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
