The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
