come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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