Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
