gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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