i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need water and some morals
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
