people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your penis caused this!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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