hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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