If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
