There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
