ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
