i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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