I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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