Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
