he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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