i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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