Nicole vs. Life
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
