after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
