He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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