And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
