Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
