you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
