I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
