It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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