I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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