how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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