We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
