I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
