yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
