So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
