Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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