I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
